Imagine The Good

I've always been envious of naturally optimistic people – especially those who seem to breeze through life, without ever seeming to consider the myriad of things that could go wrong. Can you even imagine feeling so free? I cannot.

While I'm fairly optimistic in general, my risk assessment skills have always been fantastic, meaning that in any plan or scenario my brain seems to automatically look for the many ways that something could go wrong.

This is both a blessing and a curse. It can be helpful to prepare for – or ideally, avoid – potential problems, and this "gift" has helped me do that countless times, both professionally and in my personal life.

But when I'm tired or hormonal and my defenses are down, being hyper-aware of possible negative outcomes can take a very real toll on my mental health. When I'm feeling anxious this tendency to see the negative goes into overdrive, and it's not fun.

When that happens, I've learned a few tricks for consciously calming down this side of my brain:

• Do what I can – speaking up if I haven't already, writing a note so I won't forget, covering my bases (insurance, legal documents) and so on... if it's reasonable and within my power to do, I'll do it.
• Support my physical body – dial back on the caffeine, hydrate, make sure I'm taking magnesium, and sometimes if I just can't get my mind to be quiet I'll down some lemon balm (either one *500mg capsule or *a cup of tea).
• Turn off the triggers – temporarily remove social media apps from my phone, avoid reading mystery or suspense novels, and change the topic on conversations that focus on negative things I can't do anything about.
• Consume some fluff – a funny podcast, light novel, or something vaguely interesting but not stressful on YouTube (like this one). Anything that will focus my brain in a less serious direction.

Once I've calmed the initial deluge of negativity, I follow a tip I heard years ago: Instead of thinking of all the ways something could go wrong, I think of all of the ways it could go right.

I've found this is most helpful if I can come up with a variety of ways something could go well, even (especially) if they're ridiculous or highly unlikely. For instance, if I'm worrying about finding a decent car within my budget, I might imagine all of the ways that things could work out in my favor:

Maybe someone trades in the exact car I was wanting the day I have planned to go car shopping and it's exactly in my price range. Maybe the financing goes smoothly and they throw in free oil changes for a year. Maybe a local philanthropist realizes how amazing I am and it turns out the car I want is actually free. Maybe I'll be the 1,000,000th customer and get a huge discount. Maybe I test drive a car that isn't my favorite color, but it's solid and gets great fuel mileage, and it's actually below my budget. Maybe I'll find a great car in my price range that was owned by someone who only drove it 20 miles per week, so it's in perfect condition even though it's 10 years old.

Thinking this way can be tricky at first, but then it becomes really fun. It helps me feel better in the moment, but it's helpful in other ways too.

When I take time to imagine the good, it helps me to remember that I'm not desperate, and that things often work out better than I expect. This practice also keeps me flexible and focused on the positive – it helps me to have a more open mindset (like realizing that even though I might not get exactly what I think I want, I can still end up with a car that meets my needs).

There are a lot of unknowns in my life at the moment, and this is a tool I've been using on the regular. It's been really helpful to me – I thought it might be helpful for you too.

Try it and let me know how it goes!

Jamie Siebens is a writer, editor, and administrative genius with a knack for getting things done. She lives in Northwest Wisconsin with her husband, teen daughters, and a quirky rescue pup named Bentley. She writes about perspective, personal growth, and intentional living at www.jamiesiebens.com

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